Speak and Smell

Bonus Depeche!

I didn’t even realize until now how I rated DM’s “Speak and Spell” in iTunes until now:

You’ve come a long way, baby.

John The Retardator

No offense, but sometimes Depeche Mode has some pretty stupid lyrics. Case in point, their new single “John the Revelator”.

The first two verses get off to a bad start:

John the Revelator
Put him in an elevator!
…
John the Revelator
he’s a smooth operator!

Speaking of smooth operators, Sade used some dead-dumb lyrics as well. Unless her audience really does require streetcar desire.

After these Playskool lyrics, DM go into a round of “Who’s that shouting? John the Revelator!” They’ve done call-and-response before. (“It’s a lot, it’s a lot, it’s a lot, it’s a lot….”) But this is approaching Van Halen level of band-wide vocal activity. When do Martin and the gang join Dave Gahan in pronouncing, “thought you’d never miss me till I got a Fat City address!”?

“John the Revelator is still a solid song, and there are even lyrical bright spots. I dig the the numerology of “Seven lies multiplied by seven multiplied by seven again.”

And it’s nice to see the website showcase DM’s sense of humor.

I LOLed.

Larry Mullen Jr.! No Português!

I have no idea why there’s a Brazilian webcomic about Larry Mullen Jr.

But I honestly now can’t live without it.

Thank you Mauricio Rett!

Getting Arrested Don’t Make Me Guilty

If this was the year 1999, and you said that DMX was going to guest on a track by the guy who did “Return of the Mack”, I’d believe you. Back then, DMX was a notorious track-whore, second only to a pre-Osbournes Ozzy.* Producers knew to have those dog barks on cue, just in case they were graced by the presence of Mr. X.

But the “Return of the Mack” guy—Mark Morrison—had something else on his mind in 1999: endless legal battles! Now free of any outstanding warrants, Morrison is back with a song about his troubles: “Innocent Man (Not Guilty)”.

My favorite mix of “Innocent Man”—the Moto Blanco Vocal Mix—omits our good friend X, but it’s still good for Morrison that he’s sharing the main track with a man who has a legal history as colorful as his own.

And DMX brings along a message—of social justice! But does Morrison’s primarily European audience even know about felon voting rights in America? Mr. X does his best to set the record straight:

You see I’m rehabilitated.
But I still can’t vote.
You see I paid my debt.
But I still can’t vote.
Gotta pay taxes?
But I still can’t vote.
Come on, dog, the state’s trying to keep a nigger broke.
You just as crooked as us—you trying to say?
Cause once I pay that dough, the charges go away.
Forget about it; it’s OK.
Cause I’ma walk over here
Let the Lord pave my way, a’ight?

* BONUS TRACK WHORING: The unavoidable collision of DMX and Ozzy Osbourne came in 1998 for “Nowhere to Run,” a song off the South Park Chef Aid album.

California, Rest In Peace

Hey, Chili Peppers? This new video for Dani California? How is it that out of all the bands referenced in this video, they all rock harder than RHCP has rocked since 1996?

I’m serious. It’s all been downhill since The Coneheads.

I liked this concept better when Weird Al did it.

What Boys Like

Oh, Space Cowboy, I loved your remake of “I Would Die 4 U.” It was warm, luscious and exciting! But this Waitresses pseudo-remake? “I Know What Boys Like”? I don’t think I’m feeling it. Let’s tally up the numbers:

• Annoying female vocals: minus ten points!
• Annoying male vocals: minus twenty points!
• A Santos remix, reminding us how disappointed we were with “Camels”: minus ten points!
• Unlistenable after two minutes: uh, minus a lot of points!
• A guitar line blatantly stolen from Joy Division: OMG! Plus a million points!

You win this time, Space Cowboy!

I Believe!

Google Blogsearch reflects exactly what I’m thinking sometimes:

Fully Filtered

The phenomenon of bands with the word “wolf” in their name is well-documented. None of those bands can compare to my favorite music personality though: Wolfman Jack.

The trends don’t stop with pack hunters, though. There may be another band word to watch out for: “filter”.

Everybody knows about the “Hey Man, Nice Shot” band Filter, but one band doesn’t make a trend. What made me curious was the new dance act FilterFunk, popular now with a narcoleptic filtered house remix of The Police song “Message in a Bottle”.

To investigate, I went to the iTunes music store to see their selection of filterbands. Observe:

With the exception of Cast Iron Filter (contemporary bluegrass), and Filter Kingz & La Lupe (1960s Cuban music), these bands seem to have come and gone with no impact. That’s no indication of a trend. But what’s this?

An album called Filter? From a band called Tomb’s Wolf?

The circle is now complete!

Benny Be Nasty

Previously on URGH!, we defended Benny Benassi’s new song “Who’s Your Daddy?” purely for its artistic merit.

But why stake everything on that? For the music video, Benassi depends entirely on girls who are good at fellatio….

Have Your Cake and Eat It!

Whoa Ellie!

URGH! headquarters has fallen in love all over again with vocalist Elles De Graaf. You should remember her as the voice of Perpetuous Dreamer’s “The Sound of Goodbye”, a definitively Hall of Fame trance track. The only reason God gave us spines is so they could be chilled by De Graaf’s powerful voice. She’s that good.

And she’s back with a knockout single by Blank & Jones called “Catch”. The song takes full advantage of The Sound of De Graaf, using her voice to convey the intensity of her desire to, as the lyrics go, “catch you if I can!!!”

Yes, every line sung by De Graaf should be followed by three exclamation points.

See it for yourself: Blank & Jones have a teaser video for “Catch” (direct link) on their website.

The song is great, but while De Graaf (we’ll assume the woman in the video is her) runs up and down the stairs getting Jimmy Stewart-type vertigo, B&J just sit in their apartment, listening to “Catch” on headphones. Lame! They aren’t even on turntables; they’re on two iBooks! But it doesn’t hurt the awesome music they’ve created.

Bonus! Here’s the URGH! Guide to the Chorus of “Catch”. Note the subtle differences!

Out of my way I’m running.
I’m gonna catch you if I can.
Out of my way I’m coming.
I’m gonna catch you if I can.
Out of my way I’m running.
I’m gonna catch you if I can.
Out of my way stop running.
I’m gonna catch you!