James Taylor, a One Man Band man? Where have we heard that before…?

That Swizz Beatz/Deerhoof mash-up from a couple months ago made me very happy. And from the filename—”Someone’s swizz-deerhoof mash up we found”—it seems like the remix was an equally unexpected delight for the band itself.

Is it any wonder that James Taylor seems to be crying out for the same treatment? His title is almost identical to Swizz’s—it’s his own personal Bat Signal! We can only hope this mystery remixer will add the Swizz touch to Taylor’s mellow guitar.

Besides, “Your Smiling Face” makes for a killer sample.

Sad but true.

All it takes is a magic word. Compare someone to an established God of Music, and I’ll come running. Case in point: this flyer.

De La Soul! I’ll do anything they tell me to! Even when they probably don’t even know who this guy is!

So congratulations, Homeboy Sandman! Thanks to your strong, possibly deceptive advertising campaign, I’m off to your web site for what I assume will be smooth, old-school influenced rhymes. Don’t disappoint me!

• Isn’t it gilding the lily to identify the man as a “former deejay for Kid Rock“? I’d say one-hit wonder for “Follow Me” is more timely and just as indicative.
• Isn’t $5 million a lot for bail? I’ve read a lot of gay Law & Order fanfiction, and even murder trials top out at around $2 million.
• Since when did CBS News become The Smoking Gun? Can we go one week without a celebrity mugshot?

Now who will narrate Meatloaf‘s attempts to get laid?

Hell yeah! Go Junior! Go Senior! Go Junior Junior—

Oh, that photograph didn’t come out well at all.

It was only a few months ago that Junior Senior was completely invisible—their album Hey Hey My My Yo Yo went unseen in the US and news about them was nonexistent. But now they are back in the states with their most recent album (released today with a bonus EP) and a hot tour!

The JS boys put on a great show. And Jeppe “Senior” Laursen is really tall! Unfortunately we were forced to leave after just four songs due to the personal problems of an URGH associate. But we were treated to the complete opening act: Gravy Train!

How were they? Not so good! Most often the annoying foursome would start their Casio keyboard beats, jump around on stage, and yell incoherent insults at the audience. The artistic highlight of their performance was rhyming “pussy” with “Bonaduce”. And when you consider that Danny’s last name is better rhymed with “cootchie”, you know this apple needs a lot of polish.

During their song “Frat Party”, Gravy Train invited an enormous, loinclothed audience member to swig from a funnel and spit beer into the crowd. We also got to see his testicles.

Three songs into their set, as they began chanting “Lick the dick! Lick the dick!” I realized something: I’ve heard these assholes before. In 2003 Gravy Train was warmly profiled on Salon.com! The reviewer used all of the magic words to lure me in: “the anti-Nelly’n'Kelly”! “Party disc of 2003″! “CeCe Peniston“!

So I downloaded their sample tracks. Then I set my computer on fire.

If Gravy Train has had five years of success they must be doing something right. I only wish they weren’t doing that something in my general vicinity; their stage act is even sloppier than their recordings. Perhaps it was a bad idea to purge them from my memory; if I burned their name into my forearm with the heat from my contempt-laden gaze, I would have known to show up two hours late to Junior Senior. As CeCe herself would say: “No good, ey ey, yeah yeah, ow.” Beware!

Bonus Junior Senior Concert Photos: Better photographers from last night are Reno1020 and BPearis. Enjoy the carnage.

And buy Hey Hey My My Yo Yo—out in the US today! I have my copy.

Dude, I don’t care how stupid it is. I dig the new Chemical Brothers video!

“The Salmon Dance”! With scenes straight out of The Little Mermaid, the Brothers educate us on the habits of this tasty animal! Fatlip as a rapping fish is even better than Fatlip as a clown! There’s also a beatboxing blowfish! What’s not to like?

Oh, I guess everything that the above Stereogum readers complain about.

Sure, “The Salmon Dance” isn’t much more beyond the same generic electronic beats (along with some unnecessary vocal processing) that the Brothers have been providing for years. But now it’s playful! I can get behind that.

Plus Finding Nemo makes me weep like a baby.

M.I.A.: I’m only here on a year visa, so if you could just advertise, I’m looking for a husband.

Pitchfork: I’ll make sure everyone knows. You may get a lot more e-mails than you realize.

I see where this is going….

Like the world’s nerdiest RPG?

The one-man violin band called Final Fantasy is just as ill-named, with or without cloud pooing. Final Fantasy isn’t just one of the most popular video game series of all time, it also has a dedicated musical following. There are sellout concerts with full orchestras in Japan and the US featuring music from the games. What this means: Owen Pallet will not be greeted by screaming Japanese girls if he ever plays live at Budokan.

Can we please stop naming our musical projects after the video games we played in childhood? Unless it’s Princess Tomato in the Salad Kingdom.