URGH! A Music Blog


Amazon.wrong!

Posted in Dance by M on February 25, 2006

Oh hell no!

Amazon.com: Recommended for you: One Word—Kelly Osbourne.  Because you purchased: Put 'Em High (Enhanced)—Stonebridge and As the Rush Comes—Motorcycle

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A Rock Photo Essay

Posted in photos,Pop,R. Kelly,Rock by M on February 22, 2006

Jay-Z shakes hands with a Goth guy.

Allow me to recommend the photos of the individual known only as Hallo Bobbi, who provides us with music industry photos that should never have existed.

Some highlights, apart from the Jigga-Goth Peace Conference above, include:

Keep an eye on this one, kids. Our dear Bobbi is sacrificing a lot of mental health to bring us these gems.

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Oh Woman You Make Me Feel!

Posted in Dance,Duran Duran,Ferry Corsten by M on February 21, 2006

The URGH! Man of the Week is none other than Ferry Corsten, who has single-handedly rescued an early 90s Duran Duran song and turned it into the hot single “Fire”.

But with this pop resurrection comes some confusion

faithnomorefreak
I’m wondering who this is by…
Has a female vocal with something like “I want you to make me feel like I’m on fire…”
The lyrics are probably totally wrong, but…umm….Help?
Justin Dohman
Ferry Corsten “Fire”
The vox are actually Simon LeBon of Duran Duran.
faithnomorefreak
Are you serious?! Wow, he sounds like a bitch now!

Tune in next week as we poke more fun at LeBon’s masculinity as the Shapeshifters take on “Electric Barbarella”!

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You Slowly Drive Me Crazy

Posted in Dance,Minogue by M on February 20, 2006

I’ve recently encountered the song “Kylie” by Akcent. I think Pop Justice can tell you everything you need to know about this inane tune, a tribute of sorts to Kylie Minogue from a band that seems to have listened to only one of her songs in the last 18 years.

What really got me upset is that I first assumed this was going to be a cover of “Kyrie” by Mr. Mister! Lord have mercy!

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If There’s Hair Below, That’s Where I’m Gonna Go!

Posted in Music Reviews,Pop by M on February 11, 2006

A very sarcastic “thank you” to Audiofile for reminding me about electro-douchebags The Crystal Method.

All these years later I’m still annoyed by their stupid, sophomoric name and their rather forgettable music.

However Audiofile offers up a direct link to a song called “Smoked”. And it’s actually not a bad electro-groove. It’s still as obnoxious as all Hell, though. Check out this spoken-word interlude:

“There ain’t no bottle of Vicodin or Endocet or any of them pills you Midwestern bitches like to take that’s gonna help save you from your life! I’m talking to you Miss Minivan!”

That’s right; more drug references and a tired retread through “Mother’s Little Helper” territory.

I think it’s time we held an intervention for the Crystal boys. They can do all the drugs they want, but it’s time to stop talking about them.

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Who’s Your Daddy? Benassi, of course.

Posted in Benassi,Dance,Music Reviews by M on February 9, 2006

Stephen Hawking

A new Benny Benassi single! Time to plug the ears and hope the video has tits and power tools, right?

I mean, all those Stephen Hawking vocals are played out! Hey Benny! No one cares that you can make a robot voice box say dirty words. “Satisfaction”? “I Love My Sex”? That road only takes you so far.

But surprisingly “Who’s Your Daddy” is good! And it’s good because of yet another annoying vocal!

Using Professor Hawking’s powers of space and time, Benassi has traveled back to the year 1997 and kidnapped the vocalist from The Mighty Dub Katz! You remember: the high-pitched female voice that kept saying “a-rink-dink-dink-dink”? No longer on a “Magic Carpet Ride” with Norman Cook, she’s now spitting out lyrics to go along with her former nonsense tune:

I want you daddy.
I want you mom.
I want you mine.
And I am yours.
I want you stronger.
I want you harder.
I want you mine.
Till you feel fine.

All of this plays off the “Satisfaction”-esque vocals we expect from Benassi, providing audible evolution of his style.

I didn’t think he could do it, but this is sexy stuff. I can’t wait to get my hands on the Dave Guetta mix! Congratulations, Benassi!

Top Three Foot Fetish Music Videos Of All Time

Posted in Madonna,Music Videos,Pop,Rock,Tori Amos,U2 by M on February 5, 2006

Number Three: Tori Amos – “A Sorta Fairytale”

Tori Amos as a foot creature riding a skateboard

Number Two: Madonna – “Like A Prayer”

Madonna kissing Black Jesus's feet

Number One: U2 – “Numb”

The Edge having feet rubbed in his face

Out Of The Doobies!

Posted in Music Videos,Rock by M on February 4, 2006

Jeff Skunk Baxter threatening to throw Michael McDonald out of the Doobie Brothers in Yacht Rock

Has everyone and their mother already linked to Yacht Rock? I don’t care!

I am genuinely impressed by the early 80s light rock mythology that’s being created; and some of it is less fictional than I thought!

While the guys playing Michael McDonald and Kenny Loggins keep it real, I double over in laughter with each new musical grotesque introduced. My favorite: fat Peter Cetera!

Peter Cetera, Lead Singer of Chicago in Yacht Rock

Another observation? The actress playing “Sara Smile” is the hottest woman ever.

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I Can’t Explain

Posted in Rock,The Who by M on February 2, 2006

A British flag with The Who Logo

Song Titles By The Who That I Have Gotten Wrong

  • 1997: I find out the song is called “Baba O’Riley”, not “Teenage Wasteland”.
  • 2000: Apparently what I call “You Better You Better You Bet” is really just “You Better You Bet”.
  • 2004: I find out the song is called “Eminence Front”, not “Come And Join The Party Dressed To Kill”.
  • 2006: I find out the song is called “5:15” not “Inside Outside Leave Me Alone”.

But I figured out “Magic Bus” and “My Generation” all by myself!

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“Shit, Baby, You Got Me Mesmerized”

Posted in Dance,Faith Evans,Music Reviews,Pop by M on February 1, 2006

Faith Evans - The First Lady

Our associate D spent the better part of last week praising Faith Evans. No context was added, just random phone calls and text messages demanding that I find him more of her work.

But Faith Evans was on my “ignore this artist” list, for reasons I had forgotten. I ignored the request.

But this week I hear a remix of her song “Mesmerized” for the first time. The Freemasons Full Vocal Mix? It’s hot!

I don’t care that the song is a total rip-off of Company B’s “Fascinated”, it gets me moving all the same.

But why was I ignoring Miss Evans? Amazon dot com reminded me:

“Hailed as the First Lady of Sean Combs‘ Bad Boy label…”

Oh, hell no! She’s the widow!

I then remembered her awful contribution to Puff Daddy’s “tribute” to her husband, ruining the weakest link in The Police‘s music catalog. I wrote Faith Evans off at that point. Now, almost a decade later I’m finally considering an end to the fatwa.

Meanwhile D has never heard “Mesmerized”! What Faith Evans song got him excited? “Love Like This”, a pedestrian 1998 track he’s only heard of now!

This man has no taste!

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