URGH! A Music Blog


I Put My Blindfolders On!

Posted in Justin Timberlake,Kelis,Pop by M on September 27, 2006

A photo of Kelis and a photo of Justin Timberlake

But “blindfolders” isn’t a word! That’s only the beginning: observe this exchange today at URGH! World Headquarters:

M: I’ve had two absolutely ridiculous songs stuck in my head all day.

Co-Worker: What are they?

M: That Timberlake one [“SexyBack”].

Co-Worker: That’s a good one.

M: And then that one by Kelis [“Blindfold Me”].

Co-Worker: That one’s good, too.

M: I don’t know, both songs make improper use of the word “sexy”….

One cannot “get your sexy on”, “get sexy on him”, or “bring sexy back”. Unless you’re Al Gore.

Bonus Errata: Hip-hop has-been Nas (AKA Mr. Kelis) is featured on his wife’s single, promising her he will “surprise you like Hugh Grant in 8 1/2 Weeks!” Fletch at Rebel To America and Chet Betz at Cokemachineglow will tell you: that’s not a Hugh Grant movie. Maybe Kelis likes to play Bridget Jones in bed? Then who plays Colin Firth?

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Lyrically Fresh

Posted in Pop,Rock by M on September 26, 2006

I really need to sign up with I Love Music. (Also known as ILX, or I Love Christ.) There was an excellent discussion last week:

Covers That Try Feebly to Modernize the Original Lyrics

Highlights:

  • Cake changed Gloria Gaynor‘s ‘I Will Survive’, because ‘I should have changed my stupid lock’ just wasn’t that cool in 1996.”
  • Morrissey sorta does this with ‘Bigmouth Strikes Again’. He changed the lyrics from Walkman –> Discman –> iPod.”
  • “‘And her Zune Player started to melt.'”

Zune Player! Enjoy it; that reference will be funny for about three more weeks.

Bonus Awkward Technology References: The Internet In Song.

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Homegirls! You Must Pay!

Posted in Black Eyed Peas,Pop by M on September 25, 2006

I went searching for Fergie‘s inane single “London Bridge” today and found this link.

Lon, lon, lon, lon, lon, lon, lon –
Lon, lon, lon, lon, lon, lon, lon –
London Bridge,
London!
London bridge,
London!

At this point I was not yet tipped off that, though this song was indeed titled “London Bridge,” it wasn’t the song I had encountered on the radio.

God damn bitch mutha fucking –
God damn bitch mutha fucking –
God damn bitch mutha fucking, Shit!
This is for you!!

Gosh, I don’t remember Fergie-Ferg saying that. That’s because this song is by Mindless Self Indulgence, a hideous looking rock outfit with a large-ish internet following.

Though be aware: as a foursome, the members of “MSI” could assemble themselves into the sexual position that Fergie refers to.

Or allegedly refers to. Now we have two songs called “London Bridge” that don’t make any goddamn sense.

I Got The Best-Of! Holla If You Hear Me!

Posted in Hip-Hop,Master P by M on September 17, 2006

Hilarious!

The Ultimate Master P

Out next Tuesday: The Ultimate Master P, a compilation of the Master’s greatest hits during the latter days of No Limit and his tenure at “The New No Limit.” (Koch Records is the label that pays P.)

The Ultimate features P’s usual gang of semi-talented rap stars as well as hideous, club-promoter-quality cover art.

While the above retailer says that The Ultimate Master P “will show you how and why he got to that top spot,” Amazon thinks otherwise. They link the album to a list titled Artists Who Are Killing Hip-Hop.

Bonus Master P Drinking Game: Make Em Say Drunk!

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Foxx Hunt

Posted in Jamie Foxx,Pop by M on September 12, 2006

A poster for Jamie Foxx's album Unpredictable

Damn! Jamie Foxx is still releasing singles?

That album of his came out months ago, but, in a pile of recent music compilations I’ve acquired, new-Tubbs has one single and guests on no less than three tracks by other artists.

Slow down, Jamie!

I’ve got nothing against the guy, really, but I think you’re only allowed to be this prolific after you get shot. Watch your back, Jamie!

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Some Other Beginning’s End

Posted in Pop,Rock by M on September 12, 2006

Dear First Page of Google: Can you tell me who wrote the song that has the chorus “I know who I want to take me home“? Signed, Mopey in Mesquite

Dear Mopey: According to me, First Page of Google, that song is called “Closing Time”, and it’s performed by Green Day.

Or Matchbox 20.

Or Third Eye Blind.

Or…Semisonic? Whoever that is. Look, just take a guess at one of those and you’ll probably be right. Unless it’s Fastball.

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Measure by Measure, Drop by Drop!

Posted in Echo and the Bunnymen,Rock by M on September 5, 2006

Echo and the Bunnymen 2006 Texas tour poster

Maybe it was a mistake, but long ago I discarded Echo and the Bunnymen into the category of “bands too depressing for me to make an investment in.”

You know how it is. Even when it’s done tongue-in-cheek—like The Smiths or Type O Negative—dour isn’t my thing. Bands like The Cure, who know how to craft tight, well-done songs, who know how to rock out, keep me at arms’ length. I don’t need an emotional range; I have a musical sugar addiction, and I expect it to be fed!

So I was surprised to find Echo and the Bunnymen (“The Killing Moon”? “Bring On The Dancing Horses? Zzzzz….) coming through for me with an awesome song I had previously overlooked: “Never Stop”!

I like it! I really like it! In fact, the song is so cool I think that all rock bands should end their concerts with a cover of “Never Stop”! The title alone makes it a perfect last song, cause even though you’re stopping, you’re not! And the end of the show is the perfect time to show off your band’s musical influences, so why not pick up some easily-earned credibility with a shout-out to a cool eighties band?

It’s so obvious! Someone had to have done it before, so I went hunting. But Google hasn’t shown me any musician who’s performed “Never Stop” in concert. Senor iTunes has no covers of the song at all, live or otherwise! Am I not searching hard enough?

In fact, Echo and the Bunnymen themselves don’t end their shows with “Never Stop”! Even when they do two encores!

I must be missing something. My all-sugar-all-the-time musical diet must interfere with any coherent musical decision-making I can perform. But rockers of the world, I want you to prove me wrong. I want you to end your show with a noisy, powerful rendition of “Never Stop.” Then tell me it doesn’t work for you and your fans. I’m hoping instead you’ll be pleased with the results.

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