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Fantasy Blondes

Posted in Music Videos,Paris Hilton,Pop by M on October 9, 2006

A young boy, an outcast, lies on his bed, sullenly staring at a poster on his wall. Suddenly, the poster’s blonde occupant comes to life, making the boy’s fantasy a reality.

What music video is this? It’s not the one you think:

The Nelson Poster from After The Rain

It’s got to be Nelson‘s “After The Rain”, right? Wrong! But what other musician is so sensitive? So soulful? So blonde?

Paris Hilton seduces a child in the video for Nothing In This World

It’s “Nothing In This World”, the new single by celebrity vagina Paris Hilton!

Thankfully we never see this fantasy Paris actually step out of the poster; she merely makes a sudden appearance in this boy’s room. And the rest of the video rips off other videos like “Hot For Teacher” instead.

But why does this pre-pubescent boy even have Paris Hilton posters? Simple: upon adolescence, he wants Paris to be the first person he masturbates to. And if he’s gay, she’ll still probably be the first person he masturbates to. Only when it’s too late will we realize that we have all masturbated to Paris Hilton, and its what she wanted all along.

PS: There really needs to be an I-Mockery analysis of this Nelson video. From its Evil Dead II-inspired time travel to its influence on The Matrix‘s “red-pill-blue-pill” scene, there’s a wealth of subtext underneath all that twerp-ass music.

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3 Responses to 'Fantasy Blondes'

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  1. nikola said,

    That bitch fucks with anything she’s in contact with. I mean like a vacuum cleaner pipe and things like that. It’s funny what people won’t do for a glimpse of publicity.

  2. valery & Juliet said,

    WE ♥ PARIS.
    AND THE THAT BOY IS THE NICEST MAN IN THIS WORLD.
    PARIS AND NICOLE ARE THE BEST, (we are argentinians but we love yanckees)

    YEAH!


  3. Pretty funny to juxtapose these two videos! I guess they do have some elements in common. 🙂

    Looking back at the weird red/blue dream sequence in “After the Rain”, the parallels to The Matrix are uncanny. It seems ridiculous that the Wachowskis would pick up something from a Nelson video and run with it… yet I saw the Nelson video on MTV *many* years earlier. Is there a “red pill / blue pill” metaphysical choice meme that has been around for a long time that could have inspired them both?

    Further: if one is going to take Matrix lore seriously (e.g “you’re surrounded by a technology-powered illusion and just don’t know it yet”) then videos appearing in a false chronology would be an indicator. The band Apoptygma Berzerk has a video in which the red/blue pills make an appearance, and they draw parallels with moon landing conspiracies. Some amusing things with paper masks and throwing out a challenge to believing everything you see:

    (Speaking of such suspicions, I always was wondered if Paris Hilton might be some kind of a hack. Her name seems to confer privilege in a weird way…as if to suggest she is the owner of the Hilton hotel in Paris. Maybe not as eyebrow raising if you’ve grown up with it as “Google Admin”…though naming your child that could be a very forward-looking thing to do, I’d like to see someone try it.) 😛

    Like the blog!

    æ


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