Smashing!

Meet Ginger!

Meet Jeff!

They’re your new Smashing Pumpkins!

Yes, these two newcomers join seminal Pumpkins Billy Corgan and Jimmy Chamberlin on tour for the new album Zeitgeist.

Their addition is supposedly controversial! But really, I’m just posting their names so I don’t end up calling them “fake D’Arcy” and “fake James Iha“. Though “fake James Iha” rolls so deliciously off of the tongue.

I don’t expect Jeff and Ginger to play guitar so well as to erase all of my teenage memories of the band, but… Let’s put it this way: the single for “Tarantula” did not upset me. At all. I kinda liked it!

Besides, it could have ended up much worse. Check out this fantasy Pumpkins lineup from 2005—predicting a 2008 reunion featuring Courtney Love! What?!

Everybody knows there’s only one celebrity addition you can make to an essentially defunct band: Buckethead.