URGH! A Music Blog

Fantasy Blondes

Posted in Music Videos,Paris Hilton,Pop by M on October 9, 2006

A young boy, an outcast, lies on his bed, sullenly staring at a poster on his wall. Suddenly, the poster’s blonde occupant comes to life, making the boy’s fantasy a reality.

What music video is this? It’s not the one you think:

The Nelson Poster from After The Rain

It’s got to be Nelson‘s “After The Rain”, right? Wrong! But what other musician is so sensitive? So soulful? So blonde?

Paris Hilton seduces a child in the video for Nothing In This World

It’s “Nothing In This World”, the new single by celebrity vagina Paris Hilton!

Thankfully we never see this fantasy Paris actually step out of the poster; she merely makes a sudden appearance in this boy’s room. And the rest of the video rips off other videos like “Hot For Teacher” instead.

But why does this pre-pubescent boy even have Paris Hilton posters? Simple: upon adolescence, he wants Paris to be the first person he masturbates to. And if he’s gay, she’ll still probably be the first person he masturbates to. Only when it’s too late will we realize that we have all masturbated to Paris Hilton, and its what she wanted all along.

PS: There really needs to be an I-Mockery analysis of this Nelson video. From its Evil Dead II-inspired time travel to its influence on The Matrix‘s “red-pill-blue-pill” scene, there’s a wealth of subtext underneath all that twerp-ass music.

Color Correction

Posted in Music Videos,Paris Hilton,Pop by M on July 14, 2006

Something’s not quite right about that “Stars Are Blind” video. Maybe I can fix it….

Paris Hilton in the Stars Are Blind video, tinted green to resemble her sex tape.

Might as well be consistent.

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