En Fuego!

No joke kids! We were iPodding it around town listening to Paul Oakenfold‘s new single “Faster Kill Pussycat”—starring Brittany Murphy on vocals!

Let’s admit it up front: “Pussycat” is a blatant rip-off of Deep Dish’s “Flashdance”, letting a guitar sample chug away while a smooth female vocal rolls over top.

But I said it before: “Flashdance” goes from a killer hook to nowhere in three minutes flat. Oakenchoad avoids this misstep by letting the sonics build up underneath and letting loose with a big, trashy finale! You can ride this single all the way! Plus Miss Murphy holds her own on the mic and is a real treat to listen to.

In fact (and here’s where the no-joke comes in) I thought there was too much build to “Pussycat” at first. At the end of the song, with things already loud, I heard a fire engine’s siren roaring on top of the track in time with the music. “All right Oakenchoad,” I thought, “that’s quite unnecessary.”

Then a fire engine raced past in front of me on the road, not part of my iPod experience at all.

So I guess that makes the version of “Faster Kill Pussycat” I listened to ambient music, huh?

The Commish is Delish!

Come on, iTunes, give us real music videos! Not crap like The Best of Ghost Hunters…

You know what, though? I like how every iTunes Music Store reviewer is a smartass….

Sealbucks

A: “There are Seal lyrics on my Starbucks cup.�?

M: “I was wondering how I contracted lupus from my Caramel Apple Steamer.�?

dis-Matisfied

Look, I’m the first person to make music puns. The first person to make a Ryan Adams/Bryan Adams joke. But these Matisyahu puns have got to stop.

Zen Question

If a man in the early nineties sees both a Negativland concert and a Positive K performance, do they cancel each other out?

Please tell me they do.

Easy Rabbit Lover

A few months ago a group called Divided seranaded us with a decent cover of “Easy Lover”, that Phil Collins/Philip Bailey 80s hit.

Unlike most filtered house covers, Divided’s isn’t overly bombastic; it adds faux-Spanish guitar and electronic warbling to the original 80s riffs, but it hardly embarrasses the original—any more than Collins already did. Collins and Bailey would approve!

Then I see the video for Divided’s song. As is now standard, it’s literally just one big porn shoot: a voyeuristic video about voyeurism.

The filmmakers carelessly name the woman “Hilton Paris”, but doesn’t she look almost exactly like Laura Palmer?

So lame Boogie Nights scenarios are staged, lesbian overtones are sounded, and cocks are teased. The actress is indeed pretty, but I didn’t care for the bunny rabbits surrounding her.

Then it takes a turn for the worse: FURRIES!!!

Gross!

“Furry” fetishes make me sick to my stomach! Don’t we remember Alison Goldfrapp being embraced by a naked woman in a rabbit mask on the cover of “Strict Machine”? I couldn’t take that, and that’s just the head!

Divided’s “Easy Lover” gives us a whole rabbit suit, and shows us the fat sweaty guy underneath! (And yes, all “yiff” fanatics are fat and sweaty.) Luckily the video never shows anything more than the above gyrations of the bunny’s felt crotch into her behind. I couldn’t stand it.

Is this more psychologically revealing of me than of the video? Before I could listen to the song, imagining the goofy pairing of the guy from Earth, Wind, and Fire with the guy from Genesis. Now I close my eyes and see Phil Collins in a bear suit.

The nightmares!