Fear of A Dance Planet

Whatever you do, don’t believe the hype!

If only the hype weren’t true! Public Enemy is going to get a dance remix album!

The remixes of “Bring the Noise” and “Give it Up” will be individually remixed by Ferry Corsten, Benny Benassi and Don Diablo and released by Ultra on August 21st.

You heard that right. In fact, Chuck D himself, back from a distinguished lecture series, throws laurels at the DJs:

Benny Benassi takes his trademark house/Euro sound and incorporates traces of trance to mind-bend the listener into a haze of consciousness.

Easy there, Chuck!

For those of you that may be unfamiliar with these artists, let me remind you:

• Ferry Corsten: The guy who’s last hip-hop effort—“Junk” with Guru from Gang Starr—was not as strong as it should have been.
• Benny Benassi: The guy whose “Satisfaction” video singlehandedly saved Home Depot from bankruptcy.
• Don Diablo: The guy who, as Divided, combined Phil Collins and Furry Porn?

This is completely unnecessary, but at least all of the above producers are interesting musicians. And Benassi’s Stephen Hawking voicebox will make a less embarrassing hype man than Flav. But if they screw this up, I may have to begin my terrible campaign of lamping.

And lamping is a dish best served cold.

Here We Go Again!

I was hard at work, minding my own business, when suddenly iTunes belched up this sample:

Chuck D: “Here we go again!”

What the hell? What year is this? Everyone‘s used that Public Enemy sample! Even Everclear!

The offending song is indeed from the 21st Century: “Hardcore Vibes (Club Mix)” by the so-called Rave Allstars.

I relaxed. This version of “Hardcore Vibes” is a remake of a much older Happy Hardcore-esque song by Dune, known for the impenetrable chorus of “Hardcore Vibes, that I run things, yeah!” and the benediction of “This one is dedicated to all the ravers in the nation,” along with, I suppose, that Chuck D quote. It may drive me up the wall, but reusing an original song’s samples is fair game.

But for a closer inspection, I pulled my copy of “Hardcore Vibes” from the URGH vaults. My copy is credited to Brunee instead of Dune; I don’t know if this is the same band or if it’s a cover.

What did I discover? The original song does not sample Chuck D! So guess what, Rave Allstars? You have no right to go back to that wheezy, played out sample of a wheezy, played out MC! No Chuck D for you!

This rant is dedicated to all the ravers in the nation.